An Excerpt from
History of the Reign of Dear Leader over the Indomitable Empire of Murica : August, 2074, upon the Occasion of His Approaching 95th Birthday, Hallowed be His Name!
by Schmucker Yawnsin
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Dear Leader, (Born Joey Hawhey, 31 Dec, 1979) ascended to the Oval Chair in August of 2025, upon the unexpected death of Our Lord and Savior Trump, - May His name be Forever Upon our Humble and Grateful Lips - and has ruled with Wisdom and Courage ever since. (Thanks to Chinese MedTech, we can expect him to reign over Murica for decades to come, if not forever!).
Dear Leader was relatively unknown until Our Lord and Savior Donyell Drumph, led The Insurrection Against the Despicable Dems on 6 Jan, 2021. Dear Leader realized that His time had come, and personally Fomented, Encouraged, and Directed the Patriots who charged the Capitol (Where our Lord and Savior now rests in Triumph in his Glass Casket in the Trumptunda), [Note, all rumors that Dear Leader Cowered amongst RINOs and Dems were disproven after the executions].
Whilst The Insurrection appeared unsuccessful the groundwork had been laid for the ultimate triumph of Our Lord and Savior, who won reelection in the first Free and Fair election in the history of the Old Country (the USA), with the uncontested margin of 110% to negative Zero! (According to The New AltMath) Unfortunately, and mysteriously, Our Lord and Saviour died later in His first year. Rumours of a plot to assassinate him were quickly dispelled by the recently installed Secretary of Propaganda, Robber Stonely. Protests by fringe groups (The Prude Boys, The Thruppencers, The Oath Breakers, the Tea Partiers, the MAGANinnies, the NRNots, and others) which turned violent were quashed quickly because the Brownshorts, a wing of the President's new SuperTrooper Force, (who were being commanded by the President's SuperTrooper Commander, Soon to be President-For-Life, Dear Leader Hawhey) responded with overwhelming force, using a small tactical nuclear "Neutron" missile to obliterate them without destroying the buildings of Drumph D.C. (then called Washington D.C.). The residents, mostly Despicable Dems, were also killed, but they were in that miniscule negative zero %, so no big loss...
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